Welcome to August! I can't believe how quickly we're making our way through the summer–I hope everyone's gotten a chance to do some relaxing and recharging, whether solo or with your nearest and dearest. Which brings us to this month's theme: friendship. And, more specifically, female friendship.
I mean it when I say my female friendships are the life force that runs through my veins. I have friends from before I could walk, from high school, from college–really long term friendships, and I rely on them more than anything. In thinking about this month at Beginning is Now, I've loved looking back on the friends from different times in my life. With my oldest friend, we were in our mother's bellies at the same time. Having a friend for that long is so affirming; it's a connection to my past and my childhood and my mother. Then, there's something so familiar about high school friends: the rhythm, the rhetoric. We remember the crushes and the drama and the awkward phases because we were all in it together.
It can be hard making new friends as an adult: sure, you have to say yes to things and be open to trying new experiences, but I think it's most important to really know yourself and what you need. What kind of friends do you want and what kind of friend do you want to be? For me, I'm not interested in being competitive with friends. I don't like pretension or when people are impressed with the wrong things. I want to be around people who celebrate each others' successes. I've gotten a bit more discerning over the years–I used to think I had to be friends with gazillions of people, but I really recognize quality over quantity these days.
I've also had to learn how and when to end a friendship. It's hard, but it's not our job to change people, and when they don't make you feel good about yourself or when relationships aren't healthy for you, sometimes you have to walk away–or compartmentalize relationships so you're no longer close to someone who can hurt you. Your time is valuable. Your friendship is valuable. You deserve better.
The best friends in my life don't try to fix things for me. They listen, they give feedback, they're unbiased, and there's so much truth in their communication. Having that is like fuel for me.
This month, I can't wait to dive deeper in the magic that is female friendships, and I'm excited for you to come along. I'm so glad you're here.